anguish festers internally
about answers to some of the questions
in the book (Wrapped Up: God's Ten Gifts for Women)
we’re currently using in Bible Study,
making me hesitate to address them,
let alone share the answers with others.
Although it’s understood,
(much like in programs as AA)
what is spoken in our meetings
goes no where outside the room
in which we meet.
I know why and from whence
these reservations stem.
years ago I experienced
a betrayal by a friend,
who happened to be
the mother of a student.
in addition,
in my childhood was
an unspoken but implied rule,
that prevented me
from sharing about my family
and its inward secrets.
but if I choose not to ponder my failures,
how else will I ever move
beyond this inability
to feel loved and forgiven?
I now ask the Mother of our Lord
who encompasses all that is holy
to intercede for me
and bless me
with the knowledge of acceptance
that indeed I am loved,
therefore I am forgiven.
linking with love
to Rebecca's
Mornings with Mary
to feel loved and forgiven?
I now ask the Mother of our Lord
who encompasses all that is holy
to intercede for me
and bless me
with the knowledge of acceptance
that indeed I am loved,
therefore I am forgiven.
linking with love
to Rebecca's
Mornings with Mary
Whatever it was, Nonnie, you know you are forgiven. Dear me. How awful to be betrayed by a friend and publicly at a meeting where confidences stay in the room. I'm a 12 stepper myself so that would be devastating.
ReplyDeletedear nonnie,
ReplyDeletemy prayer for you is that you will be filled with complete love and acceptance. i often think of my work as a mosaic artist, the way one finds the beauty and import in every discarded piece, a broken bowl, a plate, bits of glass that have tumbled to softness on the beach, all these things that once were whole, revered and then once broken cast away. i see the value in these bits of colour and light and i reassemble them into something much more beautiful than their original state. i think the most beautiful people i know are the ones who value every part of themselves. even the broken and hurtful parts. to gather every bit of ourselves and accept that this moment in time, that decision, this regret, are all important and valuable parts of who we are. in embracing all our parts we are made more whole, and more beautiful than ever before.
may you wholeheartedly embrace yourself, and may you know peace.
xo
dearest nonnie,
ReplyDeletei am so taken with your pondering. i just spent quite a bit of time writing to you straight from my heart. and then, it vanished! please know i have been here close by your side. it is late and i must get some sleep. i will try again in the morning to pour my heart out to you. until then, know that you are deeply loved.
xo